Beyoncé has always been portrayed as ‘the queen’ ‘queen B’, love of everyone’s life. And although I can’t really say I have followed suit on this I can still understand why she is adored.
I would never put down the idea that she portrays an independent, strong woman. To inspire other girls to do the same is incredible. And this is aside from the fact that she speaks for the injustices that black women have always faced, especially the misrepresentation of them historically in America.
However to place her on a pedestal is not only unfair to her, but also only perpetuates the idea that young girls and women can never be as good as her.
Whether you want to take it face on that Jay-Z cheated on his wife it should not open us up to being horrified to any news of their marriage. Idolizing celebrities is dangerous enough regardless of whether they are a successful woman. We appreciate and inspire the passion to be a successful woman into our own lives but we should not want to replace our own image with theirs.
After the Lemonade release, fans and journalists are not talking about the art or intelligence in her work, they are talking about whether or not her husband cheated on her.
Because half of the population probably hope that he did so the perfect image can be broken down to help them feel better about their life. And the other half hope it isn’t true so reality doesn’t distort their perfect image of her and her life.
Both ideas are extremely troubling and detrimental to women and men all over the world.
The most recurrent reaction being ‘if Beyoncé was cheated on we have no hope’.
This is one of the most poisonous statements to make. Not only does her music not specifically state that is the case, nor has either of them said so themselves, but for a multitude of reasons that can seriously harm everyone.
- Women will not feel good enough and they will feel fear of being cheated on no matter what they look like. This not only asserts that you have to be ‘beautiful’ to find love and a worthwhile man, but also that you cannot please a man by being a standard of beautiful.
- This also feeds on the idea that men are cheating scumbags and cannot be trusted no matter whom they are or if they are with ‘the perfect girl’. And the idea of ‘their perfect girl’ will not be good enough or will drive you to cheat and it will be ok to do so because they will stay with you.
- The ramifications for the possibility of hunting down the woman he supposedly could have cheated on her with. – you cannot run down a woman (even an innocent one). This whole idea of idolizing Beyoncé has got her fans spending their time throwing abuse at other women as if it is their job. This is never, ever, your place to do so. Beyoncé is not your sister, mother or friend. If you want to throw abuse at anyone, it would make sense if it was Jay-Z. Her actual husband. But again, the whole concept of cheating hasn’t been cleared yet. You cannot be involved and you have absolutely no right to be. Just because you call yourself a ‘fan’ and ‘follow’ her, you are not entitled to her life or anyone else’s.
- Focusing on celebrities’ relationships and life takes away from you challenging your own life and dealing with your own decisions. You cannot progress if you allow a day to be taken up with a prospect of someone else’s relationship. If that couple splits or decides to stay together it will not impact your life in any way. The only possible affect that may follow is how you choose to view those people. But those views are not important to anyone, including yourself.
We need to stop living through the celebrity and fame because it is not ours it is media hysteria. You absolutely can enjoy music and art to help you through life because that is what it is there for. But it is not for you to let their business affect your own life. This is what the media is always wanting; for you to buy into what they are all about. To look like them, eat like them, and surround yourself with their accessories, which in turn somehow justifies your right to invade their personal life.
It’s a very toxic system that clouds a lot of people’s judgments instead of inspiring what you should take from successful people and art.
And also the overall irony that you Bey fans claim to love her for her strength and feminism and then can only talk about whether her relationship is stable. This is not feminism, this is not strength and this is not supporting an artist.
There is a consideration to take that maybe she did do it on purpose. Maybe they did both want to reveal his infidelities because she wants you to know about her life (like revealing her pregnancy with Blue Ivy live to millions). But that would be her decision. And if that is her decision you shouldn’t take that to mean you need to belittle yourself because I am certain that is not the message she was intending to send.
*This article was first published in Kettle Mag [http://www.kettlemag.co.uk/article/why-world-needs-stop-idolizing-beyonce]