If You Judge Kim, You Judge All Women

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At least over half the world probably knows who Kim Kardashian West is. So my guessing is not just avid Keeping Up With The Kardashians fans tuned in to last nights episode Paris.

Some people who have probably never seen an episode of KUWTK most likely also tuned in for the first time.

I will say from the get-go, I am a lover of Kim. I think she is inspiring, incredibly intelligent and a great business woman. I think, despite other popular opinions, she is a fantastic role model for young girls and women.

So if you disagree with me, I don’t really care. You’re interested in her irregardless of if you have a high opinion of her.

When I saw the Paris news I was moved because how awful for anyone to go through. I genuinely thought if Kim dies, that will be a hole in the way our popular culture acts. Things would change. And people would say the most awful things.

Thankfully she got out alive and explained to the world exactly what happened to her last night.

I felt compelled to write about it because I think it’s so important that we address the thoughts that may have occurred and what that says about society still.

When the incident happened I had a lot of bad people on social media, and in my life, saying she staged it.

This enraged me for the pure fact that Kim is one of the most successful women of our generation. She is also the most richest woman. To make that statement shows the twiddling intellect of a lot of people. She did not need nor want more attention. She is no where near stupid to even think that’s a good idea. And she is the ambassador and advocate for Gun Control and changing the law to no guns.
And finally, and most importantly, it’s heinous and heartless to say so.

But it hurts me that a lot of people view Kim as that type of person. I saw some awful comments, from girls, saying she asked for it because of how she dresses. Are you aware of the implications of saying something like that means for women? And what that especially does for feminism?

And of course, the collective group of people that will continue to bring up her sex tape. It really upsets me that everyone can only remember that. I don’t even have the energy to defend that anymore as I’m sure she doesn’t. But it’s still a point to make that no one seems to be able to see anything else, nor cares to.

And you don’t have to care about the Kardashians. And you don’t have to agree with me. But what you do need to care about is what it means for women.

I watched the episode and at the beginning and I did think “are they milking this?” …maybe they did want to build suspense. They aren’t stupid, they knew a lot of people would be watching, so they have to cover all bases and build up all the events and imagery that the media saw and speculated about after the event.

It was sad to watch and there were a lot of thoughts I had surrounding it all as it played out. But what really bothered me was in the last half when she monologues what happened to her.

I kept thinking, “she’s lucky. She didn’t die or get shot”. I mean, what an awful thing it is that I am prone to that reaction. Because so many people have been robbed and then killed. Or shot for no good reason, and here was an opportunity to kill one of the worlds most famous people and they didn’t.
And the fact that I then started questioning why they didn’t?
Because I am so used to hearing and reading about these awful things that happen in the world; that I think it’s a good thing she didn’t get killed? Of course it is a good thing. But what I mean is, it shouldn’t be seen as “oh it’s not that bad”. It just shows that people die at the hands of guns and/or evil people so often that it seemed almost unreal. That she got off lucky.

She wasn’t lucky. Everyone that goes through something so dramatic, and lives through it too, will have to live with that for the rest of their lives. And it will never be ok that it happens. That people are targeted or picked at random. There will never be a ‘good’ outcome, because it never should have happened. To anyone.

What also troubled me was when she described the moment she thought she was going to be raped.

That I also thought, “thank god they didn’t”. Like she, myself and every other woman watching probably thought “why didn’t they?”

That she just knew that’s what bad men do. That’s what we all think.

I finished watching this episode when I was home alone. And no I’m not a celebrity and no I don’t think anyone is following me. But the fact that I got scared to be home alone because I thought what if that just randomly happened to me? What if they decide you’re next?

She may have been targeted because of who she is, but that does not make it ok. And it certainly doesn’t mean we ignore it. You don’t talk about it because it’s Kim, you talk about it because it happens every day.

Women and men are murdered. Raped. Targeted at their weakest point when they are alone. Evil people plan. And we need to talk about how we deem it as a normality.

It’s hard to watch the show sometimes and think of them as real people. Seemingly so untouchable in a different world we only dream of. But to distance yourself will only make you believe it’s not a big deal. That they had it coming. But that will make you just as heartless and just as evil.

It’s not ok. And it’s not normal. She was not lucky and she did not ask for it.

Saying she did is as good as saying any other woman asked for it. That we need to continue to be scared that a man may attack us because they can. That we should shy away and be careful of what we do and say in public. That we must act a certain way so we are not to attract the wrong kind of attention.

Because a lot of people also blamed her bodyguard. And said she shouldn’t have been unprotected. Why should they be? It is because of us and the media that we create a frenzy around celebrities and dissociate them for us. Why can’t a woman who was resting from a long day be left alone to sleep in her bed, alone.

Unfortunately because of how the world is their only answer is and was to increase security. To have guards on stand every night for the rest of their lives.

I mean how incredibly sad is that? And instead of us thinking, yeah that should be what happens. We should be thinking why should that have to happen? Why are we ok for lunatics to just exist and that the rest of us have to alter our behaviour to protect ourselves.

Why aren’t we talking about it not being ok and that as a human race we just aren’t safe.

And that when you strip it down, many women will do the same. They will not be alone at night. They will not walk alone at night. They will not be in a situation where they are exposed to men they do not know because of fear of what could happen to them.

Let’s keep the discussion open and thank Kim for her strength to share the story in her own way. She didn’t have to. She could have done a million interviews and she didn’t. She told it in her own way and stated she wants people to find the strength to talk about what happens.

So please try not to judge her. Because by doing so you’re judging all of us for accepting bad things happen and that we all just have to live with it.

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